November 17, 2008

Top Five Things I Don't Get

Are there any things in the world you just don't get? Like everyone's in on the joke but you're too thick to get it? Inspired by Foot and Mouth, here's a list of things that leave me thinking I'm just too old/stupid/uncool to get them ...
1. Ian McEwan - I've read Atonement, Amsterdam and Enduring Love in an effort to see why this guy is lauded as some kind of modern British writing genius, but I just don't think he's that good.
2. Blue Velvet - I love David Lynch in any other form. Really I do. The Straight Story, Mulholland Drive and Lost Highway all left me breathless. But why people go gaga over this film, I'm not sure. Someone please explain it to me.
3. Skinny jeans - only about 0.045 per cent of people actually look good in these crimes-against-the-average-body-shape, and they are all supermodels. So you with the muffins, get some 501s or something!
4. Camembert and brie - why? Just why? There are approximately 56,892 varieties of cheese out there. And about 56,889 taste better than eating cardboard with polyfilla inside.
5. Beer - I've never enjoyed drinking fluid that makes me feel fat and burpy. And takes ages to get you drunk.


styler said...

YES - i've always quickly hidden my just not having any joy of watching that film
YES - look good on girls who are teeny tiny, and girls that size should have a decent feed
No - it's just so yummy and squishy and yummy, but then i am not a fan of blue cheese.
I get very drunk very quickly on beer, like 2 beers and i'm toasted

Pete said...

Yes - Ian McEwan is unredeemingly awful
No - When he finds the severed ear in the field the radio voiceover says " the sound of the falling tree it'll be three o'clock here in lumbertown so get those axes out and let's get chopping" Having said that I never got Eraserhead...
Yes - ironically 80's style baggies only look good on waifs too. Fashion is an industry, style is a lifeline
Yes but camembert and brie are a good start for those poor Southland kids whose closest introduction to exotic food is the parsnip
No - Hot day,ice cold lager and fresh salty fries or a cold night and a good dark ale.Steer clear of the mass produced and ask beer loving friends and you may like it one day

llew said...

Sushi. Oh, and to continue the japanese theme - karaoke. What's with that? Both of them.

Nomadic Emma said...

Absolutely second the karaoke comment. Only thing worse than standing up and singing Madonna in front of people, is watching other people do it.