Are there any things in the world you just don't get? Like everyone's in on the joke but you're too thick to get it? Inspired by Foot and Mouth, here's a list of things that leave me thinking I'm just too old/stupid/uncool to get them ...
1. Ian McEwan - I've read Atonement, Amsterdam and Enduring Love in an effort to see why this guy is lauded as some kind of modern British writing genius, but I just don't think he's that good.
2. Blue Velvet - I love David Lynch in any other form. Really I do. The Straight Story, Mulholland Drive and Lost Highway all left me breathless. But why people go gaga over this film, I'm not sure. Someone please explain it to me.
3. Skinny jeans - only about 0.045 per cent of people actually look good in these crimes-against-the-average-body-shape, and they are all supermodels. So you with the muffins, get some 501s or something!
4. Camembert and brie - why? Just why? There are approximately 56,892 varieties of cheese out there. And about 56,889 taste better than eating cardboard with polyfilla inside.
5. Beer - I've never enjoyed drinking fluid that makes me feel fat and burpy. And takes ages to get you drunk.