July 19, 2007

A random list of things that I have learned since becoming pregnant

1. If you have morning sickness, the bus will be late and crowded and smell bad. The man you sit next to will have coated himself in cheap cologne and someone will be eating a pie.
2. You don't get a bump so much as a lump that looks like you need to do more sit-ups. People will check out your stomach a lot.
3. All love songs are really about babies. Obviously.
4. It is possible for a grown up, 34-year-old, well-educated woman to have the concentration span of a ... what was I saying?
5. It is possible for a neat freak to develop a teenage inability to tidy up after themselves, but still be enraged by the messiness of others.
6. Someone somewhere will hate the name you have stayed up all night thinking about giving your child and think is really, really cool.
7. Someone you know will tell you the worst labour story ever. Don't listen to them.
8. Everybody everyone knows is pregnant. It's not that special.
9. The morning after pill is not something to be relied on.
10. Crying in the doctor's reception area or losing your temper with a nurse will not get you anywhere, even if it feels good.

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