Things that increasingly fat pregnant women think about ...

Well, I can only speak for myself.

But anyway:

• How many fizzits is too many? Three or four packets?
• Why is Tiny moving around so much? Is he trying to tell me, yes, I love fizzits, bring more down here woman! Or he is actually saying enough with the fizzits already. My kingdom for a piece of fruit!
• If Tiny is kicking a lot now, what will the next four months be like when his feet and everything are bigger? Will I ever get a good night's sleep again?
• How come, if I didn't enjoy being sandwiched in bed with my fella, the cat and Tiny the football star the other night, does it upset me when the Postie wants to sleep in his own room, ultimately meaning both of us will be better rested?
• Why did reading an article on a premature baby have me blubbing behind my monitor yesterday, when I actually read the story a year ago and was unmoved by it?
• Why isn't my hair more lustrous like all the books say it should be?
• How come all boys' names suddenly seem so bland or over-the-top zany or taken by someone else?
• Why can't I stop eating?
• Do I look pregnant in this outfit, or just fat?
• What is that never-felt-before burning/cramping/pulling/bloopy feeling in my abdomen?
• Will I be a good parent?
• Will Tiny be as good looking and loved by all as Sweeney?
• What if (enter completely ridiculous statement here)?

It's exhausting. Perhaps another packet of fizzits will make me feel better...