My gorgeous flatmate is a TV star

NAILED, SORTED, EXPOSED! COMMENCES TUESDAY 5 JUNE 10.00PM
Reporter Chris Bramwell helps Kiwis get their own back with cheats and rip-off merchants. Dealing with issues of difficult employment, housing, health and consumer problems, she exposes dodgy schemes and greedy corporations.

What makes you happy?

My colleague Nikki is doing a two part story about what makes people happy. Tomorrow's paper will feature the first part - What Makes Men Happy? We've been talking about what we would say if anyone cared enough about us to ask, and here's a selection of responses:

Finishing a project - be it a story, a jersey, a necklace, a pair of earrings, a cake, tidying my room, writing a letter, posting something on my blog, finishing a really good book.

Being Sweeney's aunty - it's amazing to see the little fella change, and to be part of his future. I wonder a lot about what the world will be like when he's older, what he will be like as a man. I also love it when he laughs so hard his tummy and shoulders go up and down. He's got a funny nerd laugh that cracks me up.

My friends - last night after French I went to dinner with some pals, and Deb and Gus said 'yey!' when I walked in and made room for me at the table. That's a pretty nice feeling. I gave my friend Becc a necklace I thought she'd like, and when she put it on, I was really proud that I had made something beautiful for someone I care about, and been able to share my craft with her.

Seeing things grow - I love growing things from seed, putting the dirt over them, putting them in the sun, seeing little curls of leaf come out of the earth. I have my first vege patch since I was a kid growing up in Arthur Street, and I can't wait for the first carrots and beetroot and parnsips. I'm also becoming a bit obsessive about composting theories.

Charlie - my furry boyfriend. I just adore him. I'm so lucky to have him. Even if he is being difficult about chicken and venison chef at the moment, and cost me $400 in vet bills last year from fighting with other cats.

A good cup of tea, the colour red, squirrels, pink underpants, being called beautiful by the postie, waking up beside the postie, a hot bowl of porridge with cream and brown sugar, gratin dauphinoise, parcels, Monty Python skits that I know off by heart but which still make me laugh, an untapped op-shop, the Tour de France, storage containers.

So, dear readers - the question is - what makes you happy?

He's so pleased to see you ...

Check out the Sween on Martha's babylicious website. Others in that gallery I really like are Caitlin who I can imagine sharing a drink with, and Jacob who has the most perfectly sculpted wee nose.

We love ...

On the walk to end all walks, Neil and I, for a reason I forget, started talking about old British comedies like Benny Hill and The Two Ronnies. In my house, Christmas was about the Morecambe & Wise Christmas Special as much as it was about presents. We used to joke that Eric Morecambe (right) was my Dad (tall with glasses) while Ernie Wise was our Uncle Roy in Auckland (left) who is short and has white hair. Anyway, Neil and I, to ease the pain in various parts of our bodies, started singing the Morecambe & Wise song that they played at the end of the show, Bring Me Sunshine.

Anyway, just as it is impossible to be sad looking at penguins, it is also impossible to be sad singing this song. Even if your feet have swelled up and your legs are in agony and you can't remember your name. Bring me Sunshine, in your smile,

Bring me Laughter, all the while,

In this world where we live, there should be more happiness,

So much joy you can give, to each brand new bright tomorrow,
Make me happy, through the years,

Never bring me, any tears,

Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above,

Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love.

Bring me Sunshine, in your eyes,

Bring me rainbows, from the skies,

Life's too short to be spent having anything but fun,

We can be so content, if we gather little sunbeams,
Be light-hearted, all day long,

Keep me singing, happy songs,

Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above,

Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love.

Words - Sylvia Dee, Music - Arthur Kent

For more Morecambe and Wise stuff, see http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/classic/morecambe_wise/

I am an Almost Qantas Award-Winning Journalist

On Thursday last week, my editor called and asked if I wanted to go to the Qantas Media Awards on Friday night. Usually, you get shoulder tapped by your editor a long time in advance if you've won anything or been nominated for an award. So it was a bit of mystery as to why I'd been invited at the last minute.

Was stoked to find I was a finalist in the Best Feature Writer (Junior) section, and as with the Oscars, they read the nominees and then the winner. I knew I wasn't going to be the winner, but was a bit disappointed for my pal Kate from the Waikato Times when Jared Morgan from the Southland Times took it out. C'est la vie. Still stoked to have two tables of Domposters clapping their mits off for me.


Overall Winner: Jared Morgan, The Southland Times
Finalists: Owen Hembry, The New Zealand Herald
Kate Monahan, Waikato Times
Kimberley Rothwell, Dominion Post

Sparrow & Tui's next outing

Craft Market at Pataka
Saturday June 9, 10am - 4pm

It is clear that 'Nana is the new black!' and to show you how much we support that statement we are having our very own craft market! CRAFTING is part of THE BIG LOOK-SEE weekend - an open day event for galleries and museums in the region.

CRAFTING will also celebrate one of our exhibitions called 'Arts Society' by Judy Darragh. This exhibition is an art installation that celebrates 'craft' and the handmade.

We will have a stunning range of fun and funky jewellery, art objects, cushions, toys, clothes, accessories and loads more cool stuff!

The Spine, PATAKA MUSEUM OF ARTS AND CULTURE
Corner of Parumoana and Norrie Streets, Porirua
Telephone - 237 3551

Five minutes with ...

We have a regular column in the Life section called "Five minutes with ..." It usually features someone with a bit of a profile doing something cool, and I thought it would be cool to put out into blog world for people to answer. I'm thinking about re-jigging the questions to get racy answers out of people.

Your time starts ... now:

How the heck are you?
Where are you most likely to be on a Friday night?
What is your must have guilty pleasure?
What’s on the CD player
What’s on your bedside table?
What was your first job?
Four words that describe you
How did you spend your last birthday?
I wouldn’t mind being stuck in a lift with?
My last meal was
My mum always told me
Where will you be in ten year’s time?
I’ve always wanted to

Here're my answers:
How the heck are you?
Good, I had my hair cut a few days ago and am still getting used to it being big and flouncy and uncontrollable now that it's not weighted down by itself

Where are you most likely to be on a Friday night?
On the couch at home with a DVD, dreaming of fish and chips

What is your must have guilty pleasure?
Watties spaghetti and sausages. And nail products, like cuticle remover, that sit in my drawer unused for months.

What’s on the CD player
Tegan and Sara So Jealous. Genius lesbian rock goddess twins talk about their sex lives.

What’s on your bedside table?
A box of tissues, rescue remedy sleep formula, a Crown Lynn green bamboo jug, The Prophet, a batch of little Picadors that I got from the books page editor's giveaway box, a coaster that says Bitch!

What was your first job?
Picking fruit at Mrs Loft's farm. Mrs Loft was the head of our girl guide company. She grew blueberries and gooseberries. I parted my hair in the middle to make ponytails and got very sunburnt on my scalp. When it peeled, it looked like giant dandruff.

Four words that describe you
Obsessed with wearing pink

How did you spend your last birthday?
With my pals at Ange's house on the deck, having a bbq. Then we went inside and Martin forced me to play bad guitar.

I wouldn’t mind being stuck in a lift with ...
Dylan Moran. Although he wasn't as funny as I expected at last night's show, (ie, my internal organs didn't burst out of my body as I was wracked with laughter) and I bet he has terrible breath. I choose Shayne Carter instead.

My last meal was ...
Hubbards Feijoa cereal with milk and flax seed oil. Oh, and tarte aux pommes that our boss brought in for morning tea, but that's not really a meal.

My mum always told me ...
That if I pulled a face the wind would change and my face would be stuck like that FOREVER

Where will you be in ten year’s time?
I would like to be editting a magazine, the wall of my office covered in awards, or pics of me on the covers of various magazines like Murphy Brown. Hopefully by then I will have mastered the French language, and my jewellery label Sparrow & Tui will be a household name in NZ.

I’ve always wanted to
Have a tan

Seven things I want to tell you

I'm currently working on a little project for the man in my life called "37 things I want to tell you" loosely based on Jo Hubris' zine "101 things I want to tell you". It's his 37th birthday soon and I'm putting it together in rather a hurry. It's a little book with old pictures and words cut out of magazines and bits and pieces of old wrappers and textures, like a scrapbook.

Here are seven of them, without the art work of course.

1. My first best friend was a girl called Stephanie Smith. She lived around the corner in Billah Street, directly behind my house. We broke into her brother's hut which was like Fort Knox, but he almost tore it apart to stop us from seeing anything that was in there. I was scared of her father because he told me off once for spilling some water. She moved to Nelson when I was about seven or eight, and we lost touch in our teens.

2. I used to really love roller skating. I still do.

3. My favourite book is 1984, which I read in 2004 when Martin was in Auckland hospital being assessed for a liver transplant. It was a dark time. I almost wish I hadn't read that book because then I would still have it to discover.

4. Today I found out that my old friend from film days who I worked with in 1995-1998 is the cousin of a girl I worked with at the Waikato Times in 2005-2006. Esther, from the WT, used to talk about her cousin in Wellington, but I never put it together that it was my old pal Amanda. Noo Zilund is very small.

5. I like tea very much, but usually only drink a few mouthfuls of a cup. Actually, J already knows this.

6. I knew I wanted to be a writer when my standard one teacher Mr Alach showed us the book of stories and poems he had collected from his teaching career. I really wanted to be in that book. He told us to see things in a way noone had ever seen them before. I got in touch with him last year through Old Friends, he's principal of a primary school in the Horowhenua. He reads my stories in the paper now.

7. Another inspirational teacher was Talo Tolovae, who was not only my English teacher in seventh form, but his family lived (and still live) in the house I grew up in in Arthur Street, Tokoroa. He died of liver cancer in the early 90s, when I was doing Bill Manhire's course. The best poem, the one I am proudest of, is about his life and death. At his funeral, I cried so much I had to go and sit outside.

How the aunty and her nephew spent their Sunday

The nephew:
Eating green tomatoes that have been ripening on the window sill
Climbing the rise on the front lawn
Sleeping with splashes of milk on his cheeks
Saying Doh Doh Doh a lot
Giggling, laughing, guffawing
Standing up in the bath, watching the water fall down the sides

The aunty:
Watching the man in her life work on a painting
Gathering lemons from the lemon tree she never knew they had
Making a banana cake
Singing the sleep song
Kissing it better